If I cannot complain or try to outwardly change my partner, then how else am I to improve our relationship? By discovering the inner correspondences in oneself for every behavior and attribute that you find disturbing or objectionable in your partner. At first reading, this statement may have a bitter taste. But in fact it offers a powerful and uplifting means for us to acquire greater self-knowledge and mastery in our own lives. According to the highest wisdom, everything that comes to us comes because it represents some characteristic in ourselves or provides some experience which is essential for the evolution of our consciousness and our fulfillment in life. Often what comes seems diametrically opposed to what we are, what we do and what we believe. Yet when we examine the correspondences more carefully we discover that it represents a parallel or mirror image reflection of ourselves - direct, indirect or even inverted - but always it represents something for us to outgrow.
Discovering the reality of inner-outer correspondences requires some study, thought and effort. If you want to acquire that knowledge, see the examples on this site, read the novel Pride & Prejudice, watch the five-part BBC video version of the novel, and study the articles on http://www.prideandprejudice.info/. If you still have questions, send them to us.