Random Quote

During the phase of romatic pursuit, lovers concentrate only of the positive side of the other person. After marriage, most concentrate only on the other side.  

— Karmayogi

Partner’s positive response to non-reaction

My partner was creatively negative. He’d take out his purse and declare that he was broke before he took out the money. On reaching the parking lot, he’d exclaim that his car was stolen before he located it. He’d pay for the house insurance saying, ‘Well, if this house were to collapse today, I’ll be left with some money atleast’. If he woke up with a sore throat, he’d wonder if he’s about to come down with pneumonia or tuberculosis. Every unpleasant thing - illness, accident, bankruptcy, divorce – was a good topic for a joke.

I approached IRES with the hope of removing this streak of morbid humor in him. I followed the suggestion of not reacting to any negative remark. It meant not worrying that such negative words will come true, not trying to reason with or change the partner, and not even think about those statements. It took a while to realize that such an option existed, that it was possible to keep quiet externally and internally in the face of such ghastly jokes.

But once I took up the practice of letting negative speech flow without complaint, response or even a thought from my side, its rapidity diminished. Phrases surprisingly positive appeared in the place of gloomy forecasts. Where a trip to the beach would have earlier been inaugurated with the prediction of a tsunami washing us all away, it now start with ‘It’s a pleasant day, I’m sure it’s a good time to go to the beach’. The method suggested by IRES, of complete non-reaction is showing amazing results that have stood even the test of global recession. The prevalent job loss, pay cuts, and the overall economic gloom have not cast a shadow on my partner’s speech, he’s begun to speak a new, positive language.