Random Quote

That which seeks marriage is not romance, but marriage can try to elevate itself to the level of romance.  

— Karmayogi

pride and prejudice

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How do you decide if you should marry?

I’m a bit confused at the moment because I’m trying to figure out what factors you should consider when deciding whether to marry someone. On the one hand many people talk about sparks and chemistry, and feeling as though you can’t live without this person. On the other side, however, there are the voices who say it’s companionship, commitment, and common values and goals. Or are we supposed to be looking for all of the above?

Also, at what point do you have to start considering the odds of finding someone better? Imagine, for instance, that there’s something about you that is way outside the norm and is quite unpopular. If you find someone who accepts that part of you, and is a good person that you’re interested in, do you grab them? Or do you still wait for the whole fireworks extravaganza?

And just to clarify, when I’m talking fireworks and chemistry, I’m talking about the can’t-stop-thinking-about-you, can’t-keep-my-hands-off-you, kind of chemistry. In my nonchemistry model I am assuming there’s enough chemistry that you enjoy the physical aspect of the relationship, but you’re not totally blown away. So, what factors should be considered when deciding whether or not you should marry someone?

Romance and Life Response

It is an age-old knowledge that life responds to changes in our attitudes and feelings. When we become more positive in our inner consciousness, external circumstances and events become more positive as well. This holds true for romantic love as well. If we take efforts to make our attitudes more positive and express higher qualities in our relationship, we attract more positive responses from our partner. One man stopped badgering his partner about her lack of organization in financial matters. Suddenly his partner changed her behavior unasked and received a huge and unexpected assistance from a bank to help her clear up her finances.

Similarly, many instances can be cited to show that if we take the high road in our worldly activities, we can attract the partner of our dreams. In each of the cases posted below this message in the forum, the individual aspired for a deep, meaningful relationship with someone and achieved the goal by taking a higher, more positive attitude in a different area of his life. One man did so by developing greater psychological strength to resist the unreasonable demands of his boss. Another offered his services to help a young man out of difficulty, and that act of goodwill attracted an ideal woman he had just begun to dream about. A third decided to change his nature from pride selfishness to humility self-givingness, and attracted a woman to marriage he so dearly loved. Whether we take to higher levels of harmony in our relationship or to higher levels of consciousness in our outside life, we can attract greater romance in our lives in the shape through a new relationship or by enhancing an existing one.

Greater joy in giving than in receiving

Highest Level in the Scales of Harmony mentions:

"Relationships at this level are characterized by ever-increasing joy of harmonious energies. Partners relate to each other through pure self-giving that expects nothing in return and knows there is greater joy in giving than in receiving. They recognize each other as the spiritual complement that fulfill and completes them. "

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