Random Quote

Those who seek the security of marriage do not find romance.

— Karmayogi

General

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Self-forgetfulness

What is exactly meant by self-forgetfulness?  How does it contribute to romance and what are the practicaal strategies to achieve self-forgetfulness?

Love/Marriage and Astrology and matching horoscopes for wedding

I want to know what is the co-relation between the strategies suggested by you, i.e. the phenomena of life-response (as regards to finding the right partner) and astrology (Indian Vedic astrology)? What role does one's past karma play in getting a life patrner?  I am particularly intrigued as astrologically speaking I should have been in a relationship about 4 years ago, and several predictions in this regard have not come to pass. E.g. I would be in a relationship by Sept 2009, but come to think of it, I haven't yet found the man and this prediction too seemed to be doomed!! And now, according to astrology I have crossed my time of marriage.  This gloomy scenario scares me but I still refuse to give up hope.  But I want to know the co-relation between the methods you propose and Indian astrology?   The methods you propose give me hope but astrologers predict gloom?  And other question is - In India it is a common practice to match horoscopes before marriage.  How right is this tradition?  What happens if one's horoscope is not matched.  Astrologers predict doom in such cases specially if a certain planet (I think Mars) is not rightly placed.  Is it so?

How do you distinguish between infatuation and love

I have been in situations, where i am attracted to a person - strong emotional attraction, or an interest in them, or a desire to talk to them and spend time with them or have some feelings for them.  But is it love because I have not seen a recprocation of my feelings/interest/attraction from the other person to the same degree?  How does one distinguish for oneself that what one feels is love or is it infatuation?  I had two instances in my life where I felt something strong for someone- something momentary and inexplicable feelings and attraction - but these feelings were not reciprocated, infact rejected, were my feelings love or infatuation.  But as I realize reading your posts the reasons could be expectations on my part (therefore I can term my feelings as not real love) and lack of self-givingness and ofcourse I needed to grow-up as these people came in as mirrors in my life showing 'Me' to myself?  Can infatutation be converted into love and then be reciprocated from the other party?

Difference of Intensity Between Two Partners

Happy Relationships with Different Intensities
In the popular imagination it is assumed that the best relationships are those that are of equal intensity, but experience proves otherwise. We see many if not most relationships consisting of very different intensities between partners. For example, one partner is fulfilled by giving all his love to his mate; the other is fulfilled by receiving it. They are both fulfilled, one by giving, the other by receiving. Of course, there are shading in between. Yet, rarely are the balances of energies the same or equal, despite what Hollywood and the popular imagination considers the romantic norm.
 

Unhappy Relationship with Different Intensities
Then there are cases where the differences in feeling begin to tip to the negative side -- i.e. where one party loves and the other does not, or does less so. This occurs for many reasons. From the perspective of the unhappy partner one must look at that person's aspirations and intentions in their romantic relationships; the character and nature of that individual (e.g. is it mature or not); that person's decision making capacity; that person's awareness of the truth of the situation; if there is infatuation, as opposed to real love; and so forth.

 

A Discussion
Why don't we begin a discussion here about the nature of relationship with different levels of intensity between the two parties. I.e.-

-whether it is a happy relationship with different intensities between the two of you, and why; i.e. how do the energies express and why does that bring contentment, or-

-whether it is a less than happy or unhappy relationship (which normally suggests different intensities), and what might be the cause of this unhappiness. I.e. the cause in yourself (see above possibilities) or in the other person.

As we become aware of the nature of our relationship in this way, it will be that much easier to identify and apply approproate Romance and Harmony principles that would help us build Truer Love with our partner, (through such methods as being more self-giving, admiring our opposite traits, and others).

One sided love/arranged love/triangular love

I am wondering why many a times love is one-sided? One person feels very deeply, however the other claims to feel nothing and sometimes ends up causing a lot of hurt to the other person? Sometimes the other person loves someone else?  Why does these situations happen?  What lessons does a one-sided love teach? A lot of Bollywood movies depict triangular love stories e.g. Kuch Kuch hota hai, Dil to pagal hai etc, Ofcourse these movies are exaggerated, but do they say something deeper about life?

Secondly, does everyone expereince true love - does everyone qualify for true love? I see a lot of people
getting married, especially arranged marriages, where people are matched on education, family's social standing, income (or the potential to provide a good life), looks, age etc ?  Are these marriages based on convenience or is there some love beneath the obviously love-less surface.

Attracting the right partner

I want to attract my soul-mate and have tried various methods over the last few years. There was a pattern within me that the person would get attracted but slowly move away from me.

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