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Romance is the urge to live and the willingness to die for another. Marriage is the urge to possess another.

— Karmayogi

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Scarlett's assertion

In this a passage from the book version of Gone with the Wind, Scarlett announces to Rhett she has decided not to have any more children.

“He turned, as though the subject were closed, and left the room. She sat down abruptly. She had had her way. This was what she wanted and Ashley wanted. But it was not making her happy. Her vanity was sore and she was mortified at the thought that Rhett had taken it all so lightly, that he didn't want her, that he put her on the level of other women in other beds. She wished she could think of some delicate way to tell Ashley that she and Rhett were no longer actually man and wife. But she knew now she could not. It all seemed a terrible mess now and she half heartedly wished she had said nothing about it. She would miss the long amusing conversations in bed with Rhett when the ember of his cigar glowed in the dark. She would miss the comfort of his arms .Suddenly she felt very unhappy and leaning her head on the arm of the chair, she cried.”

Scarlett told Rhett to his face that she wouldn’t sleep with him, but she understood she would miss the beautiful night time conversations and the comfort of his arms. We know she doesn’t have any high feelings for him but she feels disappointed. She doesn’t invest herself emotionally in her relationship with Rhett. She decides to deprive him in an area which she knows is important to him. Here there is no tenderness and no cunningness either. Finally it is she who is disappointed by her decision. Is her act one of cunning and cruelty or just assertion of her preferences as a woman?

Romance and Life Response

It is an age-old knowledge that life responds to changes in our attitudes and feelings. When we become more positive in our inner consciousness, external circumstances and events become more positive as well. This holds true for romantic love as well. If we take efforts to make our attitudes more positive and express higher qualities in our relationship, we attract more positive responses from our partner. One man stopped badgering his partner about her lack of organization in financial matters. Suddenly his partner changed her behavior unasked and received a huge and unexpected assistance from a bank to help her clear up her finances.

Similarly, many instances can be cited to show that if we take the high road in our worldly activities, we can attract the partner of our dreams. In each of the cases posted below this message in the forum, the individual aspired for a deep, meaningful relationship with someone and achieved the goal by taking a higher, more positive attitude in a different area of his life. One man did so by developing greater psychological strength to resist the unreasonable demands of his boss. Another offered his services to help a young man out of difficulty, and that act of goodwill attracted an ideal woman he had just begun to dream about. A third decided to change his nature from pride selfishness to humility self-givingness, and attracted a woman to marriage he so dearly loved. Whether we take to higher levels of harmony in our relationship or to higher levels of consciousness in our outside life, we can attract greater romance in our lives in the shape through a new relationship or by enhancing an existing one.

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